Tristan's funeral

At the cemetary

Last Saturday was 2 weeks since the funeral so I thought I would write a bit about it for anyone who wasn’t there.

the displayWhen Neil and I got there before the viewing, we seemed to be handling everything really well. We went into the Relief Society room to dress Tristan and Neil and I both had a hard time with that. It took me a while to do more than just stand there and hand the clothes to Neil. I knew when I decided to touch Tristan that he would be cold and hard and it was difficult to break the illusion that Tristan was still “there”. We had a little more time with him that we both sat and held Tristan’s body. I just kept feeling his soft hair, hoping to ingrain the texture to my memory, since it was about the only part of him that seemed real anymore.

Tristan's funeral

the display

So we put him into his tiny casket and let everyone else come in for the viewing. As soon as the crowds came, my tears automatically dried up and I felt like I should be giving the “viewers” words of comfort and not the other way around, since most of them were the ones crying. There must be something wrong with me that I can hardly cry in front of anyone else. Neil is one of the rare few who gets to see me emotional!

Anyway, the service began and I was supposed to read the obituary- a miniscule task, considering that it consisted of 1 or 2 sentences. So I had decided to add a little to it with something I had been thinking about for a while. So it went something like this:

“Tristan Neil Wyatt was born to Neil and Amanda Wyatt October 12th, 2009 and returned home to his Heavenly Father later that evening. He is survived by his parents, sisters, McKenna 4 and Adele 1, and many extended family members.

“There is a story that circulates support groups and blogs of families and patients with heart defects. It tells of a beautiful day in Heaven when Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus “I don’t want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you”. He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that he is just going for a visit. He is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels down, and says, “How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will that be okay?” The angel smiles and says, “I guess that will work”. But the little angel is still a little scared. “Will I be okay with only half of my heart?” Jesus replies, “I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine.” Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says “When you are born, your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart. And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves.” -Author Unknown

” I wanted to finish this story for Tristan.

“When he returned to Heaven, amid tears of joy and hugs in reunion, Jesus asked, “How was your turn on Earth?” The little angel replied, “It was beautiful- so many arms of warmth and love to hold me, smiles through teary eyes to greet me. A king couldn’t have asked for more!” Then tears appeared in Tristan’s eyes. “My sweet angel, what is wrong?” Jesus asked and pulled him close. ” I think when I  left, I broke their hearts, ” he whispered.

“Quietly, Jesus reached in His pocket and pulled out the other half of Tristan’s heart. Tied to it with fine silvery threads were the pieces of hearts, of all those the little angel had touched in his brief life. Even as he looked the chain grew and grew.

” My dear little one,” Jesus said, “You did not break their hearts. You brought a piece of them back with you. And one day, they, like you, will return to me for the other piece of their hearts.”

Tristan's funeral

beautiful flowers

Luke 12:34 -For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Tristan has become our families treasure and our hearts are truly with him.

A seminary teacher Neil knew from high school carpools with Neil to choir each week. Hal Is a wonderful friend of our family and gave a beautiful, comforting talk.  I am going to try and get it from him and I want Neil to make a post sometime soon to include his talk and chronicle his experience with Tristan.

There were 2 beautiful musical numbers. Jesu, The Very Thought is Sweet, and My Shepherd Will Supply My Need-  one with a 6 part group and the other with 8, as well as the full orchestrations. Antoinette headed up the coordination of the music and I could not have expected such a beautiful result. Amazing!

The graveside ceremony was in Heber and the drive was glorious; blue skies and sunshine with the peak of autumn’s colors through the mountains and down into Heber Valley. We could not have asked for a more beautiful day. It had to have been close to 75 degrees.


Tristan's funeral

Neil and Michelle

My dad dedicated the grave and then Neil and Michelle sang May the Good Lord Bless and Keep You.


At the gravesite

As a bonus blessing I was able to hold out through the whole day with little physical pain, (thank you to all who offered those prayers on my behalf!) and I don’t even look as drugged as I was in most of the pictures I have seen!

"There is no foot so small that it does not leave an imprint on this world"- We borrowed this quote for the epitaph from the MILMDTS website. We really felt after all the stories of ppl inspired by Tristan that this was appropriate.

"There is no foot too small that it does not leave an imprint on this world"

Anyway, it was a very peaceful day and a great way to “end” this chapter in our lives. I have had many hard days since, but the feeling of peace and assurance from October 17th will be a sweet memory.