You are currently browsing the monthly archive for January 2010.

I expected the holiday season to be a lot harder than they were, but don’t get me wrong. There were moments I was reduced to tears at reminders of Tristan’s absence. The funny thing about keeping him as present in our family as possible with pictures and traditions and talking of him often, is that it also reminds us, painfully so, that he is not here.

The most poignant reminder for me was the empty stocking. We decided it would be a good idea to place a stocking for Tristan along with all of ours. McKenna is too young to pay close attention to the fact that we start stuffing their stockings weeks before Santa’s one-night trip around the world. So as we buy, we stuff! But as the stockings got fuller and heavier, the empty Pooh bear stocking on the end looked more and more sad and alone.

Neil and I decided to give Tristan a personal gift of self to work on through the next year; something that would help us work harder to know we will be with him again. So this year I am determined to go to the temple at least 18 times. That’s 1 and a half times a month and if I have to duck out of girl’s night, (sorry Liz and Michelle) once in a while then I will.

Anyway, it’s a new year and I can’t wait to get on with it; Good riddance 2009- I am welcoming 2010 with open arms!

We finally got our computer back from the shop! Whoo-hoo! I have felt so disconnected!

Anyway I just though I would post a few of Tristan’s NILMDTS pictures. They are SO amazing! I look at them and it’s like I am there with him again. I can never thank this organization or Julie, the photographer, enough!

Waiting in our L&D room

such a perfect little person

my dad, home early from his tour in Iraq, for this day

McKenna's expression just gets me in this one

Great grandpa

love his expression here


great great grandma



Miracle #2, Tristan meets his sisters

Miracle #1, I get to hold Tristan

an old soul

1st glimpse at all that dark hair!